Question: “When our Christian brothers and sisters are hurtful or judgmental of others, how do we confront them without being judgmental in turn?”

Answer: This question follows the one from last week on Christians being judgmental. I shall say that although I regret that this problem exists among college students, I rejoice that many of them are sensitive to this issue.

When people are judgmental of others it is usually a sign that they feel inferior, slighted, or mistreated. Their judgmental behavior is an equalizer, a way of elevating them to the status that they think is being ignored by others. While one could confront them with many Biblical passages that condemn such behavior, such as Matt. 7:1, it might be better to try to befriend this person and understand why he or she feels compelled to run other people down. Perhaps we can actually help this individual become a better Christian who behaves more like the Master.

If it is necessary to offer rebuke or instruction to another, realize that it is a delicate matter, and we need to do so very gently lest we also fall into sin. Before offering rebuke to anyone, read carefully Gal. 6:1 and 2 Tim. 2:25-26. Understand that the person is communicating something about himself/herself in this behavior, usually that he/she is wounded. Do not make the wound deeper, but heal it with gentleness and love. Remember that God grants repentance as a gift, and try to be an instrument of change in His hand. Do not rely on your own wisdom or sense of righteousness.

Question: “When a fellow Christian is feeling an absence of God in their life, how do we offer encouragement?”

Answer: (Same person submitted both these questions, and they reflect on the godliness of his or her heart.) As in the answer to the above, nothing is better than becoming a friend to someone who has a need, either one who is sinning and needs to be shown a better way, or to someone discouraged and feeling God is far away. Be a true friend, offer your own testimony of how God is active in your life, and encourage your friend to come with you to a gathering of Christians where healthy fellowship and teaching may be found. Of course, pray for this person; pray with the person if he/she is willing. Help the person realize that God is not always known by feelings but by faith that rests upon the testimony of His word.